The trouble with Daleks

No wonder they're pissed off all the time

The other night, caught betwixt sleep and wake, an image and a realisation drifted into my head and back out again seconds later: Daleks can't knit.

A report in the Journal of the Association of American Medical Colleges summarises recent research, which has found that regular knitting can convey a number of health benefits, including:

• Reducing high blood pressure
• Relieving stress
• Developing hand-eye coordination in children
• Keeping arthritic hand joints limber
• Reducing the risk of Alzheimer's disease
• Increasing self-esteem
• Aiding in recovery from surgery or illness by keeping the patient relaxed and restful

No wonder that Daleks, condemned by their historically warlike behaviour (and 1960s BBC budgets) to have an array of kitchen utensils for limbs, show little or no aptitude for it.  There can be little doubt that low self-esteem lies behind much of their seemingly unprovoked aggression towards the universe in general; perhaps being able to take out some of their frustration through more creative outlets would enable to them to come to terms with the loss of Davros (he did all the fiddly work) and their constant unsuccessful confrontations with their many-faced time-travelling nemesis.

The poor things would need an adaptor just to use that screwdriver
Image: BBC

If the Daleks are being given a rest for the foreseeable future (although we know the future to be changeable and far from linear), perhaps they'll have time on their hands (claws? suckers? manipulators?) with which to find a new way to express themselves. I for one plan to pick up some sticks and learn the ropes (threads? yarns?) one of these days; both in order to stave off some of the ravages of old age and to be able to produce one of these little cuties:

EXTERMIKNIT!
Image & pattern from Entropy House

In the meantime our time-hopping tin-tyrants might be better off starting with murals.

Self and public image could be improved no end through helping in community projects
Original images:  Thai Tourist Info, Starstore

The claw is a useful tool for threatening puny humans, or for holding a paint-roller to help liven up the local neighbourhood with cryptic messages